WHEN I WAS #2

In a RELATIONSHIP

This is about the that time when for the first time I felt more for a guy and after that…..I do not even care anymore. And just for General Knowledge, am neva gonna go down this road again. Now all I know is that am gonna be in a relationship with myself, music, food and sleep. And that my friend is never gonna ditch ya.

Like so many others I too was fooled by the feeling called “LOVE.” Well it’s true that it is definitely the most beautiful feeling (may be) but at the same time it is also the worst thing ever happened to me. So for me it is just a pain in…..well lets’ say heart.

What is love? What does it mean? How is it different from any other emotion?

I do not know whether am right or wrong but I do have my own answers about this poison. I do not even know if it was love or not but it was definitely a feeling more than just for a friend. May be that what it is? Feeling good about you. More affection and care for someone. Clicking with someone which makes you want to spend more time with that particular person.

I was never a person who trusts on others or share problems with anyone. But then, when he came along, it was different. Oh God!! I could talk even rubbish all night with him.  Hey! Do not think that. I definitely gave him chance to speak. It was great. We used to meet all the time and were in the same school. He was my senior and was in the ‘hit list’ of the principal and I was the opposite as I was in the ‘good books.’ Are you thinking how we met? Well we spoke on the phone with each other at first and then met at school. Rumours spread that we were dating when we weren’t. Then after months of friendship, the zone was finally broken when he proposed and I said “YES,” which was wonderful. I still remember every bit of our relationship. We had a lot of fun, did crazy stuff, loved each other, cared about each other and also loved our flaws. But the problem is I don’t know why always it is expected that the girl will shut herself or compromise in a relationship??  Isn’t it odd?? I mean if it’s my mistake then honey I’ll be happy to apologise and listen you yell but if am not wrong then Why should I be the Sugar baby?? So, you can get by this that reason was Ego that came in between and started breaking it. Actually it was not just about ego, I too have self-respect and prestige. And I just need a good, strong reason that why a guy acts differently in front of his friends?? Why does he wanna show that he controls the girl or something??? I mean dude you are in a relationship. You are not the trainer of an Army camp. All this was for sure killing the relationship but there is more. Suddenly, one day he said he wants to breakup over a message. Isn’t that great??  Then I called him and asked him and all. He said that it wasn’t working and I broke really bad. I couldn’t eat. I could, I just didn’t felt like eating and was really sad, got low pressure and medicines by the doctor. Then I was ok and built myself up stronger than before. And convinced myself that it is for the good. The worst feeling was when I got to know that he was in a relationship with another girl while he was with me. Yes, I wanted to shout at his face that, “You’re an ***hole” but I didn’t. Because I thought I shouldn’t be upset on this. Does anyone deserve to be the reason of my tears and anger??  So, I let it go. Let it go, let it go. Can’t hold back anymore.  Let it go, let it go. Turn away and slam the door……. (Now that’s what I call the perfect song reference. BAMN!!!)

At present we are just friends and no hard feelings from my side. And I do believe now that it was for my own good and am fine with it. Whatever happened wasn’t my fault and not his either. May be what he felt for me was nothing compared to what he felt for the other girl (he is not with her now). But ya, it would have been better if he would have broken up with me first and then gotten to a relationship with someone. But he did while he was with me which is wrong cause’ he was cheating on me then and also the other.

Learn something from this short experience of my. I don’t know if it will help in any way or not but I feel it taught me to deal with a lot. Because I feel if you become capable of dealing with your emotions then you can deal with everything else or at least it I easier.

Please give your views openly. Whatever you think about this. Agree with me or not? Anything. Like, comment, share and subscribe so that I can share more of my experiences and views with you and help you at least a bit.

THANK YOU….

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2 thoughts on “WHEN I WAS #2”

  1. Giving you my views openly is the easy part. Knowing just what they are is hard. First, I believe it is a scientific fact that young women mature faster than young men. The young men seem to focus more closely on the present while the women tends to look more at what can be in the future.

    I urge you not to give up on the possibilities of your being loved. Please try to talk to your female friends and maybe you will hear similar stories. I am almost sure you will. Most of all, believe in yourself and your worthiness to be loved by the right person. Take good care, Rich

    Liked by 1 person

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